I SAID WHAT I SAID

The title probably feels a little aggressive. As always, don’t call the elders.

This will be a bullet-point version of the medical portion of this saga. In order to update the physical side of the journey AFTER THE FALL, I thought it best to go back and read my posts from last year. We’ve already covered what was going on in my mind and heart that caused me to withdraw, but as I read those words…my own words…from a year ago, I was hit with a bit of PTSD and fresh discouragement. “Fresh discouragement” might seem strange to hear, in this moment when I’m fully upright, so let me explain.

I can recall those moments well in those initial couple weeks AFTER THE FALL like it was yesterday…but what I remember MOST (almost in a tangible way) was the mindset that the worst was all behind me. If I could just endure this “momentary affliction,” the light at the end of the tunnel was just around the bend. But then the road kept twisting and turning…and doubling back…and going in circles. That ever-elusive tunnel-light grew more and more dim as the days, weeks, and months labored on.

On one hand, I feel like the Lord has been gracious enough to allow me to forget some of those dark and trying days. I truly mean that. He does that sometimes, ya know?! Takes traumatic moments from our minds and simply causes us to forget the most awful things until we are capable of processing them. Other times, he might lessen the intensity of the memories…so they’re not as debilitating…softens them, to some degree. To be honest, I’m really thankful that is the case for a good chunk of this past year…although you’ll really enjoy some of the dicier Eva-moments that I might share here and there. But goodness…for now, STAY FOCUSED!

Unfortunately, the reason I mentioned discouragement above is because there are plenty of moments ETCHED in my brain that the Lord has ALLOWED me to remember…I believe it’s for my eternal good and the comfort it may bring my fellow sufferers…but that doesn’t lessen the pain of the sucker punch. I do pray you may be comforted by the comfort I’ve received from the Lord in my affliction. (2 Corinthians 1)

For you see, in some ways…in many ways…THE FALL was the easiest part of 2025 for Eva. I mean…not counting the trip to Mexico at the beginning of January…that was pretty sweet and relatively “easy.” Sometimes I just can’t help myself, and I overshare! :) To the point though, just think post the back-to-back surgeries on 1/22 and 1/29…that’s when a harsh new reality set in.

All the people scheduled for “Eva-duty,” round-the-clock, reminded me that every BASIC function and need I had been doing myself for almost 50 years would have to be handled by someone else. Even though those were precious times with so many family and friends, it was still a difficult “new norm.”

The MOUNTAIN of meds and the medicine logs somewhat taunted me, and I began to wonder if I’d ever be able to push reset.

The PT sessions that finally began mid-March (once I progressed to weight-bearing, in a boot) gave me a momentary glimmer of hope! But while I was moving along really well, we came to a point the beginning of June where it was determined there was nothing else that could be accomplished through PT. Additionally, while it was so wonderful to be upright after 3 months, the impact on the rest of my body was tremendous. We found ourselves often treating the various issues popping up from wearing the boot and trying to strengthen the ankle…the right hip, the right knee, the lower back, and the shoulders, to name a few. In short, I walked out of that final PT session in just about as much pain and limitations as when I first began...the ankle was stronger, the range-of-motion was improved, and I was walking unassisted…yet it seemed I wasn’t any closer to that finish line.

In late July, the first conversations of additional surgeries began. To say that was not on my bingo card would be the understatement of the century. Some pretty intense pain was determined to be hardware-related as there were 2 (of the 12) screws that were just a tad bit too far through the bone. Every time I flexed my ankle, it sent sheering pain through my leg as the tendons moved across those screws. Secondly, the xrays showed there was very little cartilage left in the right ankle, and so the surgeon said he was concerned about arthritis in that joint…which would indicate the need for a 3rd and 4th surgery. The docs punted the decision until October to be assured the bones were solid before removing the hardware…maybe there’s a 9 month buffer? No clue…clearly there’s no universe where Eva has the answer to that. Note to self: mark calendar to do med school next Tuesday. It’s time.

In hindsight, I should never have tried to do an entire year’s overview in one post, but I’m going to just power through. Stick with me. Believe it or not, I’m skipping significant incidental life updates for now…for the sake of all our sanity, but we will circle back after the Eva-medical saga is finished.

Back at it. At the follow-up in October, the xrays were not promising again. Exactly zero persons are surprised. I had lost the minuscule cartilage I had in July, and the ongoing pain was astronomical. Since cartilage never grows back, the damage would be permanent…the pain only continuing to increase. The surgeon was surprised how quickly it was advancing though, and it was determined to move forward with the 3rd surgery to remove the hardware. Keep in mind, I had NO intention of removing the extensive hardware, even with the acute pain, but the secondary reason was pretty compelling. Because the only way to deal with the deteriorating bone-on-bone situation was an ankle fusion (which the hubs and I have declined because of the strain/pain it will cause to the knee…not about to trade one issue for another) or ankle joint replacement. Big kick in the pants #1: can’t do the ankle replacement without removing the hardware. Bigger kick in the pants: that meant TWO additional surgeries because they couldn’t do it all at one time…process looked like: hardware removal, 6 week minimum recovery for bones to heal and close up the 12 holes left from the screws, full ankle replacement, 6 week non-weight-bearing recovery.

I decided to get a second opinion at Steindler since Tansey was really leaning toward the fusion we didn’t prefer. Dr. Maurus is the surgeon there that came highly recommended from quite a few sources, and I was pretty impressed with him. He agreed that the ankle replacement was the move and also agreed to do it eventually. He said I could do steroid injections for a while as well, if needed.

We decided to go ahead with the hardware removal surgery on Nov. 17th with Tansey since it was all his baby to that point. The surgery went pretty well…minus the complete shambles of cartilage that he tried to repair as best as he could. He essentially filleted open my leg again on both sides and removed both plates and the 12 screws. The biggest perk of this go-round…I actually went home from this outpatient surgery! They did multiple nerve blocks (again, brutal, but worth it), so they were able to do less pain meds…which allowed my oxygen level to stay healthy! Grabbing the W anywhere I can! There was immediate pain-relief from the hardware-related issues, and everything seemed to turn a corner…until roughly 10 days later…when the pain started escalating immensely, and it looked very ugly and oddly swollen. At that point, we were fully in the thick of all-things December so I just stayed off my feet as much as possible and was in a constant stage of alternating ice/elevation and use heat for my weary back/hips.

And so, for the latest news,…almost a year since the epic FALL OF DOOM…I made my way back to Steindler to start the ball rolling with the new guy. He took one look and offered to go ahead and do the injection right then. Say less. He said I could do the injections for 3 years if I wanted to…or just until I got tired of doing so. All he requires is a 5-week heads up…I guess, to get the new shiny bionic parts and clear his schedule…at which point, we will do the ankle replacement. I had been trying to figure out when I could squeeze in being non-weight-bearing and non-driving again for 6 weeks…maybe mid-March…or July…but if the injection gives me 3-4 months of pain relief, I may just opt to get a couple more and enjoy a surgery-free year! Wonder what that’s like…might be nice! I’m so very happy to report that the past 3 weeks have been the first time I’ve not been ready to gouge my eyes out due to the intensity of the pain…in a year. It has been glorious. I had truly forgotten what that felt like! I’m trying to baby-step my way to activity…because the old Eva would jump into high-intensity workouts, to make up for lost time. Eva 50.0 is trying a new approach. She’s started taking the stairs whenever possible, and she’s not crying in doing so! Small victories…huge rewards.

There was indeed much gloom, despair, and agony over the past year, but I’m thrilled to share the light at the end of the tunnel has started to shine brighter once again. So I can loudly proclaim the following:

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our afflictions, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. (2 Corinthians 1: 3-4)