SUFFERING 101

Wednesday Word is, yet again, going to try and tackle…actually, it will be more like dipping our toes in…a behemoth: suffering. Your girl has had her fair share, but so have you…whether directly or indirectly. I’ve shared much of mine over the past decade in order that we might walk through difficult times together and learn to grow on both sides of the coin…the sufferer and the comforter. But I did not do so because my pain is/was greater than yours or someone you know. Scripture calls us to bear one another’s burdens…among a whole HOST of other “one another” commands…but we simply cannot do that if we don’t share our burdens and heartaches with other believers. Again, we first have to step into the tears of suffering…then be willing to invite others into our suffering…and all along, we trust that God is working in it all for our eternal good and His glory. John Piper explained this perfectly when he said, “There are things to see in the Word of God that our eyes can only see through the lens of tears.” So, friends, I hope you’ll sit with me for just a bit, in this often painful, and always overwhelming, mess of suffering. As is typical with such a broad and multi-faceted topic like this, there’s so much more to consider than time allows here. So please take some time to examine your own heart in regard to this all-too-common conflict with God: suffering.

It’s important to remember that we all experience suffering for many varied reasons: sometimes it’s our own sinful choices, to be sure…and sometimes we suffer because of the sinful choices of someone else…and yet, sometimes we suffer simply because life is incredibly difficult in a fallen and broken world. Let’s take a brief look at each of those categories.

What about the suffering we experience because of our own sinful choices? This question has the most direct and understandable answer…even though it’s not easy to do…repent and turn to the Lord. Most of you reading this post…I do hope a few of you are still there…but most taking the time to read a post about suffering from a Christian writer are likely to jot this one down in the “got it…obvs” column of your notes. (You’re taking notes, right?!?) But I will be frank here. So often…so very very often…I will be in conversations with people who acknowledge the mess they’ve created, by their own sinful choices, and yet they want any solution possible except the one that’s clearly laid out in Scripture…ANYthing but admitting to their holy and righteous, gracious and merciful, personal and all-knowing Lord and Savior that they need to confess their sinful choices, need to ask forgiveness, and need to turn to the Lord in repentance. Why is that so often the case for believers? Why is that just as often so true of me?

While all are intense, the times we suffer at the hands of others will often be the most trying. The lack of control and helplessness just adds to the suffering, and we are plunged deeper into this well. We need to acknowledge that reality in order to process our grief and sorrow in a God-honoring and healing way. However, suffering at the hands of someone else needs to be put in its proper place in your heart. This quote from Peacemaking Women was so helpful to land this point:

“Hopeless questions lead to despairing answers, and before we realize it, our suffering feels overwhelming and unbearable. Sometimes our emotions take over our thinking, and we give the people ‘causing’ our suffering more power in our lives than they should rightfully have.”

It’s so important to take the time to evaluate what’s coming into our mind through what we see, hear, feel, and experience…and simply hold it up against God’s Word to check for truth and wisdom. Someone wise once said, “You don’t have to accept every ‘party’ invitation you receive!” In other words, just because someone is trying to draw you into their mess…or create a mess for you…doesn’t mean you have to participate. I know…easier said than done. But it can be done. In those times when our suffering is completely out of our control, the arms of Jesus is the most comforting place to be…even when it seems like we don’t belong.

Lastly, we suffer simply because we live in a fallen and broken world. We recognize that often, through no fault of our own or others, life can just be hard. We catch a glimpse of this from the apostle Paul in 2 Corinthians.

For we do not want you to be unaware, brothers, of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not ourselves but on God who raises the dead. He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again. [2 Cor. 1:8-10]

For even when we came into Macedonia, our bodies had no rest, but we were afflicted at every turn…fighting without and fear within. But God, who comforts the downcast, comforted us by the coming of Titus, and not only by his coming but also by the comfort with which he was comforted by you, as he told us of your longing, your mourning, your zeal for me, so that I rejoiced still more. [2 Cor. 7: 5-7]

Talk about some bad days. And yet, Paul still shares that suffering with the Corinthian believers so they might be encouraged in their own suffering and praise the Lord through it. Notice that Paul doesn’t ignore his suffering, but neither does he make it the main character of his story. He shares the hardships and then goes on to acknowledge how the Lord is working through it for his ultimate good. We need to work toward this mindset in our own suffering, as difficult as that may be.

“This is our hope and our security. God not only ordains our suffering, he promises to be in it with us.” (Is. 43:2) PMW

One last thought about suffering…that won’t necessarily be brief, but I believe it to be crucial…please hang with me. All too often, (feels like I’ve used that phrase all too often in this post! :/) but, all too often…we get so discouraged when we actually DO turn to the Lord in our suffering…and yet, the suffering continues. It’s important to check ourselves here…not God. The sweet spot in that process is being in God’s presence and experiencing more of HIM…not the absence of suffering. We so often miss this point. “I’ve prayed and prayed about this issue, and it still keeps happening…or it doesn’t seem to do any good…or I’m still so heartbroken!” Maybe you’ve heard someone share that before…maybe you’ve said a version of that yourself. Prayer isn’t a “get out of jail free” card that we can play so as to not experience sorrow and suffering. It’s meant to drive us to the One who has experienced every trial we can ever face, knows what it is to truly suffer, and lavishes HIS grace upon our hurting souls…more of HIM…that’s where this whole topic can turn on a dime. To this point, the authors of Peacemaking Women wrote:

“God doesn’t take away our troubles. He does, however, reveal his own strength in the midst of our weakness. (2 Cor. 12:9)… Even if our circumstances do not change, freedom comes when our EXPERIENCE of them changes. Biblical hope reminds us that real peace is not a by-product of suffering-free living but a by-product of trusting God even in the MIDST of intense suffering.”

Not too long ago, I was listening to the With the Perry’s podcast as they tackled this difficult subject. Jackie shared a couple examples from the OT in which the story was familiar, yet this point could be easily missed. I bet if I asked 100 Bible-readers about which OT person/s would take top billing for living with suffering, 99 would respond with our first guy. (There always those 1%-ers that like to be ornery and throw off the poll. You know who you are.) From the majority though, we would hear…Job. It’s almost too obvious, right?!? But the thing JHP mentioned was something I had glossed over in my reading of this well-known book.

In the very first chapter of the book, we see that Job is characterized as “blameless and upright, one who feared God and turned away from evil.” Job had it all…the family, the wealth, the status, the reputation, and a profound faith in God. We are all familiar with the story though. Satan asked God’s permission to attack Job in every way to prove that he would blaspheme the name of God. God permits any amount of suffering, save Job’s very life. And so, he loses everything, and is only left with 3 worthless friends and a nagging wife. Throughout the book, he goes back and forth with God…sharing his heartache, his lament, his questions, his great sorrow, his pleadings…yet he never turns from the Lord, but resolves to trust in him even more. Then in the final chapter…afterall that intense suffering and all that profound sorrow and all that unending grief…we hear this confession from Job:

“I had HEARD of you by the hearing of the ear, but NOW my eye SEES you;”

Pretty interesting to see how that all lays out! Job knew God in a more personal and profound way BECAUSE of his suffering. It’s like that prayer break at the end of Ephesians 3 when Paul prays for the Ephesian believers. They already knew the love of Christ…they were believers IN Christ! But Paul prays that now they would KNOW the love of Christ in a life-altering way.

The other well-known OT examples the podcast sited can be found in Daniel 3 when King Neb confronted these Jewish dudes he’d set up as overseers, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego…because some tattling suck-ups ratted them out for not bowing down to his golden image. (Eva’s paraphrase, but at least I didn’t call #3, “A Billy Goat”!) Nebby is ticked off and rolls out with a HOW DARE YOU? and a DID YOU? and a GIVE YOU ONE MORE SHOT…don’t throw it away OR ELSE! (too far? :)) But then the guys were like, “Bet.” (I should probably get back to quoting instead of paraphrasing!)

“If this be so, our God whom we serve IS ABLE to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he WILL deliver us out of your hand, O king. But IF NOT, be it known to you, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up.” [Daniel 3: 17-18]

Essentially, they replied…even if it costs our lives…no amount of suffering could prevent us from reserving our worship for the One True and Living God…because He alone is worthy.

This remains true for us today..even in, and maybe even MORE so in…those seasons where it feels as though we may be consumed by the fires of our suffering. We don’t turn to the Lord expecting to be free from suffering. We turn to Him because He’s the 4th man in the fire, standing next to us, holding our hand, and guiding our steps. No matter what kind of suffering you’re experiencing…due to your own sin, or the sins of others, or just living in a fallen world where heartache abounds…God CAN and WANTS to redeem every broken shard of glass in your life to create something beautiful. I’ll close with Jackie’s own summary because it’s so fitting,

“Even in the pain, God is still good.” Trust Him. Hold on to Him. He sees you and knows you, and none of your suffering will ever be wasted.